Warhammer 40K, How to run a club: Help!


There are some days running the school Warhammer Club feels like a nursery with more expensive paints. The kids are larger, and are busily negotiating the jump from genuine kiddyness to adulthood, passing through several layers of immaturity on the way there.

Imagine toddlers that have learned how to swear and make fart jokes.

Your patience for this may vary, and I for one never grew up from this stage (leading to top quality #banter from teacher), but there are days when you simply do not have enough eyes to maintain a semblance of order.

Enter The Help.


This will usually be in the form of 6th Formers, or other final year students if you're in a primary school. Just like Ork Nobz, they'll generally command more respect from the students by their greater size and musculature. Rather than display oversized tusks, some will have poorly shaven stubble, adding to their Mob Rule rolls.


Whilst it may be tempting to appoint a club captain with positions at the beginning, you should really wait a half-term or two to see where things settle. Right now I have a strong candidate for Nerd Preator, but patience is needed to see if his schedule will allow him to continue the club.


Remember, these students have big exams in their lives, be they A-levels or International Baccalaureate. It is for this precise reason you should not appoint an Upper-6th former, or someone in their last year at school. Not only should they be prioritising exam prep, but they will simply not be available when exam seasons roll around.


In case you were wondering, this is also when School League Finals are.


In any case, you'd want your club to be refuge for them. Give them the chance to drop the Maths and English for an hour or two in favour of shouting "For the Emperor!" at each other. In the long run, this pressure valve will help them to succeed higher results in what they need to do.


Lower 6th Formers, and 4th formers (Years 10 and 12 to normal folk), are going to be your best Nobz for the Boyz. But leave opportunities for the precocious Yoofs to take roles. Simple stuff, like keeping track of the equipment and paints can be good for these younger club members, but follow the advice I laid out here.

Finally, you can always trick another staff member into joining the club. This would be the equivalent of a Painboy or Mek. Someone who can fill in for your warboss self, but really is more of a support. They're good, but will cost you a bottle of wine around Xmas time as a thank you.


With this help, you'll be able to run an effective WAAAAGGHH!!, and crush the stooped humies and elfs... er... 

I mean run the club.

Until next time!


Thanks for reading.

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